Well, there you have it. Anxiety is plagging me again. It's like a feeling of never being at the right place at the right time. never feeling like your doing what you 'should' be doing. Feeling guilty. Always.
Sometimes it's different. It's like not feeling anything. When you know you should. It's really tunning yourself out. Not allowing yourself to feel what you are truly feeling. Because it's there. Not wanting to deal. Refusing. Hiding. Shouting. Eating. Anything.
I'll get back to you...I am being interrupted by M___.
I catch myself ‘wanting’ to buy a beautiful little statuette of the Buddha. But it would have to be perfect to my own eye. It would be like this, like this, and like that…and I would feel so ‘excited’ to — finally — to do my meditation. Everything would be perfect!
You just had a glimpse of my aterialistic mind. It makes me embarrassed, to think about artistry, when I should really be meditating. To think that, the roundness of shapes, the smoothness of a texture would bring me closer to god? I can’t help it. I have sensitivity for all things potentially beautiful, which are most things. I want them to be beautiful. I want to make them beautiful, I want harmony of shapes and colours; tone and contrast. I am an artist. Ironically, that makes me, well, a true materialist. I love things, I feel for their beauty. It’s pretty sick. Hahahah.
So I thought, what the heck. Fine. I’ll be that way, and maybe, I’ll even sculpt a little Buddha myself.
Have you ever wondered why most Buddha status and drawings look so clunky and rigid? It’s not a negative really. How would you go about making a little Buddha? What is it that is beautiful to your eyes, and hands? Which materials? Why? Why? Why?
It is logic to our human minds full of symbolistical symbols, to make art symbolic. And when art speaks of spiritual maters, I can only imagine. But especially in the case of the ‘little buddha’ I think, that even making the statue is a meditation in itself.
It is said that ‘The harmony of the statue’s physical proportions is the expression of nirvana’. It explains why the required measurements of a buddha are laid down in the canon of Buddhist art.
Specifically:
“The span is the basic measure, i.e. the distance from the tip of the middle finger to the tip of the thumb of the outspread hand. This distance corresponds to the space between the dimple in the chin and the hair-line. Each span has twelve finger-breadths. The whole figure measures 108 finger-breadths or 9 spans corresponding to the macro-micro-cosmic harmony measurements.”
I am French. Grown up influenced by indy English music. Always loved arts. Finished an anthropology degree on the Dean's list, but fled shortly after on a 'geographic therapy', as far as possible from my hometown. I once did a lot of outdoorsy things. Then I discovered work. I currently work in a design firm, I do illustrations on the side.
