You know what my problem is?
I don't know if I will ever
trust someone fully. I just don't know if it is possible. This feeling of always having to protect myself, not against just life's misfortunes, but actually watch my back, in case someone would inadvertently cause me suffering by the actions caused by their fear or ignorance. Because, you can only come to this conclusion, I mean that the only reason another human being would cause you any harm would be because they just don't know any better you know?
Anyway - To come back to the original topic "that my problem is trusting others", I am just not convinced that there is a possibility to trust someone. I mean that would involve a lot of forgiveness because there is no way a person will never ever hurt you. People do that. They make mistakes, or sometimes they just have know f’ing idea that they’ve just hurt you.
The thing is that, I still expect somehow that someone, once in my life will be “to be trusted” – I mean, a person, mostly a guy that will never hurt me. It’s pretty sad and stupid even. To be that naïve. Or demanding. But there I am, hoping and hoping, constantly disappointed.
Someday I'll see the light. I'll be convinced that it is still possible to trust people, even thought you know for sure, they will disapoint you in one way or another. They me even hurt you, but they are still worthwhile and can be trusted or at least I can lay down they weapons and close an eye just a little.
-peace
