A great post on Tim Boucher's
site about the book "The Politics of Experience" by R.D. Laing, published in 1967. At one point in this book, R.D. Laing makes the hypothesis that "mental illnesses may in fact be our spirit's own healing process" -- the idea is also associated with the concept of Anti-psychiatry.
I really like the idea that things aren't as they seem, and looking more closely and carefully, being gentle when we try and 'fix' something is more effective in the long run. Another thing that automatically comes to my mind when I think of this concept is "yeah, let things run there course" or "time heals all". But it's not exactly it. It's more like "pay attention", and learning to accept who you really are, and see clearly what is going on around you.
Often we try and try to fit our round head in square peg society holes, over and over again. We are convinced that we can finally change the way we think, so we can do things that will get our "superior's" approval, so that we ca be safe in this world. Then we beat ourselves up, feeling guilty that we aren't like the rest of them, and starting to think that after all, since I am failing to be like ______, "there must be something wrong with me". So we give up and feel 'depressed'.
Of course there is a danger in this, how do you get someone to pay attention? Because even if you tell someone over and over again "there is nothing wrong with you", you are just "different" but you are also "equal" to the rest of them. The person will not be convinced until they can see that "there's a way out" in their lives.
Seriously, our lives are so freaking suffocating sometimes; it's hardly believable that not more people aren't "cracking up". And the cracking up ones may just be the sane ones. Or at least, it doesn't necessarily mean that the people having the break downs are the f_ up ones all the time. It just means their capacity to compulsively dissociate on a daily basis is failing. Their psyche will not go by the "rules" any longer. Their own mind is telling them "No!" "This isn't reality".
FEELING TRAPPED
On my recent trip to my parent's, I had several discussions with my dad about the past. See, my dad was, to the best of my memory, in a constant state of feeling trapped.
When you feel trapped, and that other people are "out to get you", maybe not literally, but in a way that can seriously impact your life (like your boss and co-workers), it is difficult to convince yourself otherwise. You may feel trapped because you are ill (physically or mentally) and feel like you are dependant on your spouse, or other family members. You may feel you are trapped by high mortgages, by saving for your retirement, by not being able to find another job with similar "advantages", etcetera.
See, the problem is that when you start admitting this "trappage" problem to yourself, the next problem is the fact that it seems that, no matter what you do, you'll feel trapped! So the conclusion is that you must get rid of the feeling, because you've apparently tried every possible way to get out of this trap.
Perhaps it is not so much the feeling that is the problem - even though it is the feeling that causes all the pain - but in parts, it may be the way we see the reality, but also the environment itself...Meaning, we may think we've tried every possible way to get out of the trap, but in reality, not only we tried too many very similar ways to get out of the trap, but these way also violated our innate, cherished beliefs about self.
GETTING OUT
I guess, how to get untrapped involves trying to get back to these positive truths that we hold about self, and moving in life according to those truths. It doesn't necessarily involve coming out to everyone in the open or starting to preach...especially not if you are an introverted person. It just means acknowledging when something bothers you, being conscious of the differences between your beliefs and other people's beliefs for instances. You don't necessarily have to shout "I disagree" or smirk or make sarcastic comments if you feel like this may end up turning against up soon after. But you can notice the difference.
FIND YOUR POSSESo, the next step is to find people who are similar to you, or at least less dissimilar! This is more difficult, because it involves letting go of a lot of advantages of this current life. Mainly it may mean finding another job, boyfriend, moving to another area, making room for other friends. This requires a lot of care and attention, and acceptance of mistakes, and staring over again.
Of course my dad never got a chance to do this it seems until he was retired and divorced! I can understand why he is so uncommital now.
Jeez, everyday, his whole body was crisped up, and "I don't want to!" was written all over is face, yet, he went to this work he despised, and felt trapped. My mom never understood that even though he was physically able to work as he did, he would have much prefered her to help him, because he felt that he couldn't support his family on his own, he was scared that he would lose his job and fail everyone. It was too much for him as he hated his job. Frankly, I think it wasn't so much to work as the people around him that he couldn't deal with. But he could not articulate that to her, or she refused to hear him, because it would have meant for her to change her own ways. It's really sad that they couldn't work together to support each other, they had to do it apart from each other.
And, I guess, here I am, in a similar predicament. At least I don't have kids, and I am at least a lill more mindful of my own internal wants. Now I need to find a way to fulfill them.
-peace.
