Agro girl.
It's just the lill things in life.
Well, it's just a very very ugly bad trait I got: I get angry. A lot.
I am frustrated at work and I have a hard time keeping my cool. I whine I whine, I sigh, I swear even [doh]. I tell the world how this is ridiculous. Create a bbig ball of stress. Include as much people as possible in it.
And then I worry that I went overbboard.
I hate that feeling. Yes, well...
I a just negative.
I'm a negative person, they tell me.
And that pisses me off even more!
Take it all on my shoulders,
and think others don't care.
Clients have silly requests.
And I just feel trap into doing more OVERTIME
and feeling responsible for projects going a-wire.
You would think it would be simple.
but it's not.
People say: "just relax".
Well, I can't. Or rather it is very difficult for me.
I just think I've got the fighter gene cranked up a lill to high. Just like my father. And I have to remind myself all the time that people arent' doing this and that 'just cuz they're idiots' And it's really not the end of the world. I can do good even if I don't agree. They may want to do good too, EVEN if I don't agree.
AND I am NOT ALWAYS right.
but don't remind me...cus that pisses me off even more.
I tell you. It is pretty embarassing to feel 'angry' in the North American world. Well I feel angry a lot. I am frustrated a lot. Agro grrrrrrrrrrrrr. There. Now you know world.
Well, I am ok at feeling anger. I just wonder how I can learn more and more how to not create bad vibe around me.
good luck to me.
Well, it's just a very very ugly bad trait I got: I get angry. A lot.
I am frustrated at work and I have a hard time keeping my cool. I whine I whine, I sigh, I swear even [doh]. I tell the world how this is ridiculous. Create a bbig ball of stress. Include as much people as possible in it.
And then I worry that I went overbboard.
I hate that feeling. Yes, well...
I a just negative.
I'm a negative person, they tell me.
And that pisses me off even more!
Take it all on my shoulders,
and think others don't care.
Clients have silly requests.
And I just feel trap into doing more OVERTIME
and feeling responsible for projects going a-wire.
You would think it would be simple.
but it's not.
People say: "just relax".
Well, I can't. Or rather it is very difficult for me.
I just think I've got the fighter gene cranked up a lill to high. Just like my father. And I have to remind myself all the time that people arent' doing this and that 'just cuz they're idiots' And it's really not the end of the world. I can do good even if I don't agree. They may want to do good too, EVEN if I don't agree.
AND I am NOT ALWAYS right.
but don't remind me...cus that pisses me off even more.
I tell you. It is pretty embarassing to feel 'angry' in the North American world. Well I feel angry a lot. I am frustrated a lot. Agro grrrrrrrrrrrrr. There. Now you know world.
Well, I am ok at feeling anger. I just wonder how I can learn more and more how to not create bad vibe around me.
good luck to me.
posted by minetto at 10:55 PM
2 Comments:
Good luck!
I have a hard time letting go of anger once it starts. And when it starts to die down either because I don't have more to stoke the fire with, or because I start to realize how silly I'm being, I start to feel almost empty or dead. Anger has an adrenaline rush to it. It makes you feel alive to some extent. And it's cathartic, and gives an excuse (even if a flimsy one!) to let go, let loose, and the consequences be damned.
But for me, anger often fizzles out when it comes to social interaction, or at least contained. I'm not very confrontational in person, and am a little slow to congel my thoughts in time, and always immediately think about how I would be unfairly unloading that on them if they aren't the target.
I really need to find that middle path, where I can accept it, without feeling I have to be consumed by it to the hilt for the anger and expression to be justified.
thanks Josh,
It's true, after a big bout of anger, I feel also exausted. I literaly feel stress and anger in my heart! Hopefully I don't croack too early from all that.
I think, my worst fear is that people will avoid me. I feel such an intense amount of guilt and shame at times. But hey I am also anxiety queen. ha!
Middle way's the word. Thich Nath Han is ma man.
I get less in trouble if I keep up the meditation, sleeping early, staying off drugs, alcool, doing sport, eating healthy and be proud.
But it spirals out of control when I don't stay on that track. I get paranoid, anxious, grumpy, exausted, depressed, ugly. Then I feel like hiding under a rock...
But the worst is it's a time bomb. I get lured away from the path by fear of loosing a job or whatever...I think I can forfeit the 'right' actions for a while...then, a few month later it starts to blow up in my face. and there I am
thanks for reading
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